Common wisdom among the manosphere, PUAs, Alphas, and other such manly men is that beta males are complete and utter pussies who are in no way any competition for us badass Alphas. They’re so harmless that we Alphas can simply breeze past them without a second thought and nail all those hot girls that the betas only fantasize about.
Alphas believe that their competition is not from betas, but only from other Alphas. The common wisdom is that even if a white knight beta tries to cockblock you, he can be disarmed and bypassed quickly and without too much fuss. After all, he’s just a beta. Pssh.
On the other side of the coin, often there are beta male defenders or apologists who say things like, “So what if there are tons of betas out there? So what? What difference does that make to you?”
The problem is that while Alpha Males are busy flexing their muscles about how badass they are, and while beta male apologists are thinking betas don’t affect them, both groups often forget that beta males are not only a threat to your success in your woman life, but they are actually one of the biggest obstacles of them all.
Those betas raise the cost of dates you go on with women and raise the amount of time and effort it takes for you to get to sex. One of those same pussy, wimpy, needy, white knight beta males you constantly make fun of is going to not only take away that super hot girl you’re now fucking, but marry her too. I don’t think you’ll be bragging about what a badass you are then.
The reality is that beta males wield vast power over woman that you as an Alpha (1.0 or 2.0) will never have.
What the hell am I talking about? I shall explain.
Who Do Women Leave You For?
I have talked before about the LSNFTE, when a woman leaves you because you won’t play ball with her bullshit Disney picture of what a relationship is supposed to look like, and then quickly gets a boyfriend who happily conforms with this fairy tale, at least temporarily.
I’ve talked about exactly what to do in these scenarios, when to expect them, and how to reduce the odds of them happening as soon. But we’ve never talked about the type of guy these women dump you for. Are these guys betas or Alphas?
Numerous women have LSNFTE’d me over the years. (Of course 94% come back eventually, but that’s a different topic.) Every time they do it, they dump me for a beta. Not another Alpha, but a beta.
I get dumped for betas all the time. I almost never get dumped for another Alpha.
I’ve been LSNFTE’d about 40 times(?), perhaps more (sometimes multiple times by the same woman). Of all those times, just two were because a woman dumped me for an Alpha Male (1.0). The other 95% of them dumped me for a beta.
This brings us to the first of the superpowers that betas have over us Alphas:
Beta Male Superpower Number 1: Beta males will cheerfully agree to things Alpha Males won’t.
Here’s the simplest example. As an Alpha 2.0, I will never ever promise a woman absolute sexual monogamy. Yet every woman I date is surrounded by literally swarms of beta males who will happily chop off their own balls by promising this.
Many Alpha Male 1.0s won’t promise this either. The ones that do are lying (because they’ll promptly cheat), and most women know this, particularly those over age 25.
This means that if that hot girl really wants a guy who will genuinely promise monogamy, the beta male will win just about every time. If you’re an Alpha, you’re out, at least for a while. Yes, it is true she might be back, and/or it’s true you might be able to have sex with her while she’s cheating with you behind the beta’s back. But the point is you lost her in the first place because the beta was around, ready to promise that which you would not promise (if you’re an Alpha 2.0), or could not promise honestly (if you’re an Alpha 1.0).
Monogamy is an extreme example, so feel free to replace “monogamy” with “marriage” or “living together” or “children right now” or “move with me to X city” or “don’t have sex with me until we’ve been dating for three months” or “spend money on me” or “drive me around whenever I need to go somewhere” or “clean my house” or “make sure to comment nicely on all my Instagram pics” or “text me every day” or any other feminine demand you can think of.
As an Alpha, when you get a request or demand for this, you’ll just laugh at her. But a beta will snap to attention, salute with a “yes ma’am!” and happily obey.
Who does she then pick? Him. Not you.
Beta Male Superpower Number 2: Beta males will always consent to a woman’s Disney agenda. Alpha Males can’t or won’t.
Just about every woman on Earth has a clear picture of what they want their perfect relationship to look like “someday.” Even most badass independent types fantasize about some kind of wedding or similar event, as well as some kind of long-term relationship with a Good Guy™.
So she goes on and on about her Disney bullshit fantasy of a forever monogamous marriage with no divorce ever, with two perfect children, a rich and successful yet eagerly obedient husband and a beautiful home with a white picket fence right next door to her mom or her sister.
The Alpha Male 2.0 shudders with a cold chill when he hears all this and says no thank you.
Some Alpha Male 1.0s laugh and say hell no.
Some other Alpha Male 1.0s want some aspects of that, but then immediately start changing major components of her Disney fantasy, forcing her to compromise on her holy of holies. She feels pressured and hurt.
The beta male? He wants ALL of that, exactly as she’s described, with no changes whatsoever. He’s down for every last piece of it and can’t wait to get started. He’s just happy to be with a girl at all. The details aren’t super relevant to him.
So between these four choices (the 2.0, the anti-monogamy 1.0, the pro-monogamy 1.0, and the beta), who does she pick? It’s no contest. She picks the beta. She kicks your Alpha ass to the curb, gleefully trots off down the street with that wimpy beta male to plan their extravagant wedding, and then you get depressed and send me an email asking me how to get her back.
You’ve heard about Alpha fucks and beta bucks, and it’s true. Women fuck Alphas and marry betas. That’s all well and good, and fun to joke about on manosphere web sites, until you as the Alpha have a girl you Really Like™ who is Not Like The Rest™ dump your sorry ass and go marry a beta.
I get a lot of emails from angry or depressed jilted Alpha Males who have been dumped for a beta. Yet it’s very rare that I get an email from an Alpha complaining he got dumped for another Alpha.
Still think betas have no power over you?
Beta Male Superpower Number 3: Beta males raise the bar to entry, particularly for older, more attractive women.
You want sleep with that super sexy 36 year-old woman, so you pitch a meet where you two go to a bar and have a drink. Your plan is to just talk for an hour or so, then move to either sex or a second brief date (and then sex).
The problem is that the last five times she went out on a first date, she went out with betas. These men bought her a fancy dinner, kissed her ass all night, spent hours and hours listening to her talk, bought her all the drinks she wanted, stayed out as late as she wanted, constantly told her how smart and pretty she was, and never tried to have sex with her.
Therefore, the above scenario is now the baseline expectation for what she expects a man to do. When you suggest “go get a drink,” she’s slightly confused, cocks her head to one side, and immediately counters with something much more detailed, expensive, and time consuming. You say “bar” and she immediately suggests things like “dinner” or “go see a play” or at least a very safe, nonsexual “lunch.” If you stand your ground and stick with the “get a drink” idea, she actually gets a little offended. You’re some kind of cheapass player and not a “gentleman.”
Back before all these first dates with betas, she would have been happy to agree to a casual first date, and likely sex shortly thereafter. But because of years of getting her ass kissed by betas, she isn’t down for that for that any more. She can get a better deal by blowing you off and holding out for a beta who will be happy to spend $150 on her for the privilege of spending six hours of listening to her talk with zero sex.
Using their beta superpowers, these five men have raised the bar to entry to her pussy for all future men, experienced Alpha Males included. I didn’t say you can’t have sex with her or that it’s “impossible,” I said the bar to entry has been strongly raised. Thanks to them, we now have an entire population of single 30-something women on sites like Match.com who regularly get free fancy dinners and hours of male attention with zero sex required, and in many cases get offended or even upset if you don’t offer this to them.
It’s a great deal for women. It’s a mediocre deal for betas (who again are happy to have a date at all). It’s a horrible deal for you. You now have to either A) stop dating women over the age of about 33 even if you still find them attractive, or B) massively jack up the time and financial expense your dating life requires, or C) massively jack up your activity and numbers, doing needle-in-a-haystack game to find the rare exceptions to the rule. Most men over 30 choose option B. I chose option A several years ago. Both are bad.
Still think it’s “no big deal” that there are so many betas out there? Still think betas are harmless? Still think they don’t cause you any problems? Still think they have no power over your dating or relationship life?
They do. Far more so than other Alpha Males. (Though to be fair, Alpha Males aren’t blameless either…)