A few weeks ago, I talked about the types of male sex drive. Today, I’ll discuss the types of female sex drive. When I say “sex drive,” I mean the desire to actually have physical intercourse with another human being. In context of this article, sex drive means a woman’s desire to actually put a real man’s penis inside her. I am not talking about a general feeling or horniness or arousal, which in my opinion is very different than actual sex drive. Please refer to the linked article above for more detail on exactly what I mean when I say “sex drive.”
Women are trained by society to think of sex differently than men. Women also have radically different sexual and reproductive biology than men. Therefore, men and women are different such to the point where you can’t just label all of them as having low, medium, or high sex drive.
Attention vs. Sexual Desire
As I have discussed many times over the years, especially in my book, a man’s primary craving from women is sex, while a woman’s primary craving from men is attention. I’m not saying men don’t want attention; of course they do. I’m also not saying women don’t want sex; of course they do. I’m saying that when you’re on a first or second date with a woman, your primary, underlying biological motivation is to have sex with her, at least usually (yes, yes, there are unusual exceptions to every rule). Her primary, underlying, biological motivation is not to have sex with you, but to capture and maintain your attention, for as long as she possibly can.
Yes, she probably also wants to have sex with you if she’s attracted to you. Yes, she may also want money and/or support from you, particularly if she’s a gold-digger, sugar baby or provider hunter. Yet that’s still not her primary, underlying, biological need. Her primary need is your attention. This is why she calls or texts you all the time, and why she friend zones many guys, and why soft nexting is so effective (it’s the removal of attention). It explains so many female behaviors once you understand that your attention is the thing she craves from you the most.
Therefore, it’s important to understand that even high sex drive women have a strong need for attention from their male partners, potential partners, fuck buddies, orbiters, and friend zone guys that most men won’t feel for the women in their lives. Her need for your attention is likely much stronger than your need for her attention, and often men misinterpret this need for attention as attraction or sexual desire. It is usually neither, since remember, women have this same need for attention from their friend zone guys who they aren’t attracted to at all, and from other women as well.
Women Are Cyclical
Very unlike men, women’s desire for sex is highly cyclical based on where she currently is in her life. If she’s young and carefree, she may have a much higher sex drive. If she then gets married and starts having babies, her sex drive may drop to near zero, perhaps for several years, while the babies are small. She’s just not in that frame of mind right now. If she gets divorced a few years later, and the divorce was friendly and amicable, she may be super horny again (even for the guy she divorced!). If she gets divorced and the divorce was really horrible, she may go through a “I hate men” phase and not want to have sex at all for several years.
Remember, this is all the same woman, just at different times in her life. As a man, none of this cyclical stuff applies your sex drive at all (unless you’re an exception to the rule). If you’re a high sex drive guy (for example), you’re horny all the time regardless of if you’re happy, depressed, excited, sad, single, married, have small kids, have no kids, or whatever. As I always say, men are static (largely unchanging), women are dynamic (always changing).
Regardless, every woman has a sex drive “baseline” of how much she desires sex when everything in her life is more or less normal, and these cycles move up or down from that baseline. For example, a woman with a high sex drive baseline isn’t going to go without sex for a year even if she’s a man-hating feminist and just went through a dreadful divorce. Similarly, a woman with a very low sex drive baseline isn’t going to have very much sex even at her most horny times; just a little more than she usually does.
Feminine Biological Factors
Another key factor in a woman’s sex drive is her ovulation cycle. As most of you already know, many women are noticeably hornier during certain times of the month, particularly when she’s ovulating and/or right before or right after she menstruates. Much of this up-and-down horniness can, and often is, lessened or even eliminated if she’s on chemical-based birth control.
Sex drive, as it relates to ovulation, menstruation, birth control, drug use, menopause, and other purely biological factors are beyond the scope of this article, and I will not be discussing these topics today. (I have an entire section in my book regarding this topic.) The categories of sex drive I’m about to describe are still generally accurate to most women, regardless of these factors. Just be aware of the following generalities:
– Most premenopausal women are a little more horny around when they ovulate. Ovulation is usually around day 14 if day one is her first day of her period, though every woman is different and there are many exceptions to this.
– Many premenopausal women are a little more horny right before, during, or right after their periods, depending on the woman.
– Many women going through menopause or pre-menopause experience weird and unpredictable bouts of extreme horniness. Bitches be crazy. (It’s great.)
– Women on consistent chemical birth control (such as birth control pills, depo shots, or NUVA ring, but not things like copper IUDs) tend to be horny much less often than women not on birth control at all. However, that does not mean that if a woman isn’t on birth control she’ll automatically be “more horny.” The world is full of low sex drive women who are not on birth control.
– Women with low testosterone or low or high estrogen tend to be less horny than women with healthy female levels of these things. As a matter of fact, if you are in a serious relationship (high end MLTR or OLTR) with a woman who almost never seems horny, a blood test is probably in order. I’ve known a decent amount of women with crappy levels of testosterone/estrogen; it seems to be common problem today.
– Consistent drug use can affect women’s sex drive, usually negatively (and men’s too).
With that all in mind, here are the eight types of women when it comes to sex drive.
Zero Sex Drive Women
These are women who literally don’t want sex at all, ever, for any reason. The vast majority of these women are old ladies, well over the age of 60, who have literally lost the desire to have sex. Sometimes it’s for health reasons, but more often it’s simply because these women don’t feel sexy. Very unlike men, women need to feel at least a little sexy in order to enjoy sex. They also have a “sex is for young people” attitude and a “been there done that” attitude regarding sex that most men never get to, regardless of age.
Some of these women may have occasional feelings of horniness, where they may find solace with a vibrator, but they still have no desire to actually have sex with a living, breathing man. They find the idea of having sex a useless waste of time and not enjoyable at all.
Thankfully, women like this who are under the age of 60 are quite rare (but do exist).
These are women who resist the idea of having sex because of emotional problems, problems from their upbringings, or traumatic events in their pasts.
Maybe they were beaten by their dad. Maybe they were violently raped. Maybe they were raised in a brutally oppressive religious environment. Unlike with men, women with troubled pasts like this are unable to easily bring themselves to have sex, and often have much lower sex drives as a result. They may alleviate or perhaps even “cure” this problem with things like self-reflection and therapy.
Repressed women are not like zero sex drive women. A repressed woman can have sex and can enjoy it, even really enjoy it, particularly if it’s with a man who has built up a great deal of trust with her. It’s just much more rare and difficult for them to do so.
Low Sex Drive Women
These are women with low sex drives; just like low sex drive men. They enjoy sex and want sex, and have no sexual “issues,” but they’re just not into it and don’t need it very much. If they get laid once every few months, that’s more than enough for them.
These women can easily go years without having any sex and be perfectly okay with it (at least mentally). Eventually though, they’ll find a new guy, get excited and have a decent amount of sex during temporary NRE, then quickly go back to their once-every-few-months pattern.
Low sex drive women usually have less aggressive, mild personalities, and tend to be either Submissives or Independents. (Low sex drive Dominants exist, but are very rare. I don’t think I’ve ever met one.)
Many low sex drive women often have extreme levels of Disney. They tend to have sex with less men than the norm and they dislike dating, meaning they tend to always either be single and alone or pair-bonded to someone.
Slow Sex Drive Women
“Slow” sex drive women are different from “low” sex drive women, although slow sex drive women are often mistaken for women with low sex drives. Women with slow sex drives are usually not horny and rarely want to actually have sex (again, general feelings of arousal and horniness do not count). They act just like low sex drive women, until they actually start having sex. Once a slow sex drive woman actually is having sex with a man she’s attracted to, then suddenly she lights up, and gets super horny and very excited. At that point, she’s the horniest gal you’ve ever seen, and is screaming at you to fuck her more, badly wants you to make her cum, and keep having sex with her for as long as you’re able to do it.
This is very different from low sex drive women, who are normal people during sex, enjoying it the “normal” way. A low sex drive woman’s sexual desire doesn’t increase at all during sex, while a slow sex drive women’s desire skyrockets during sex, and does so very quickly. Sometimes, the transformation is surprising. You start having sex and she just lays there like a dead fish, with a bored expression on her face, and then two minutes in, suddenly her eyes light up, she grabs you, kisses you, starts making all kinds noise, and is lovin’ it.
In my purely anecdotal experience, slow sex drive women seem to be the fastest growing category of women out there. I have encountered many more slow sex drive women in the last three or four years than I ever did during the years prior. Make of that what you will. I have a theory that it has to do with various medical reasons, including birth control and/or testosterone levels, but it’s only a theory.
Normal Sex Drive Women
These are typical, normal women. The best way to describe these women is that “they’re horny when they’re horny.” Normally, they’re just fine and not horny at all, but semi-regularly, they get horny as hell and need a cock inside them ASAP. Not often though. They’re just one notch above low sex drive women, in that if they have sex about one to two times a month, they’re perfectly satisfied and don’t really need any more than that unless they’re going through temporary NRE with someone. Many of them enjoy porn and/or vibrators just as much as having sex with a man (but they still really like men).
If they need to, they can go 30, 60, even 90 days without sex. They might be irritable and/or bitchy if they do this, but they’ll still be more or less okay. Like all human beings, they will indeed suffer some dysfunction if they go too long without sex.
High Sex Drive Women
These are women crave sex pretty much all the time, and think about sex, at least a little bit, almost constantly, just like a man. However! They’re still women. Their high sex drive doesn’t mean they’ll run out to a local bar or hit up Tinder and instantly leap on some stranger’s cock whenever they get horny. ASD applies to high sex drive women just like any other women, so these women always prefer a known quantity rather than a stranger.
When a high sex drive woman craves sex, which is pretty much all the time, her hierarchy of men she wants to satisfy her need for a cock goes something like this:
1. The fuck buddy or boyfriend she’s already having sex with.
2. A recent ex-fuck buddy or ex-boyfriend she used to have sex with.
3. A new guy she meets via her social circle.
4. A distant, long time ago ex-fuck buddy or ex-boyfriend.
5. A brand new guy (someone she meets at a bar or online or whatever).
High sex drive women are constantly having sex and almost never go without it. Relationshippy high sex drive women always have boyfriends and are constantly riding their cocks (they tend to cheat too). Player high sex drive women are like female Alpha Male 2.0s, and have a small harem of men whom they can text on any given day to get their needs met. Married high sex drive women fuck the crap out of their (usually beta) husbands for a while during NRE, then soon get bored and cheat (and then get divorced). Most high sex drive women tend to be hardcore serial monogamists.
Most high sex drive women (though not all) orgasm very easily, often without the man doing anything special. If a woman knows how to easily cum inside her vagina (rather than with her clit which is how most women cum), the odds are very high that she’ll be a high sex drive woman. These women experience a lot more pleasure from having sex than other women, thus desire it more often.
It is my estimation that more than 50% of high sex drive women are over the age of 30, many of them over 40, since sadly, it takes about that long for most women to become completely comfortable with their bodies and sex. There are certainly high sex drive women in their 20s though.
Just as I said about high sex drive men, high sex drive women often have a lot of trouble navigating through life, since society wasn’t designed for them. Even worse, high sex drive women are not as socially accepted as high sex drive men (and that’s not saying much, since society doesn’t like high sex drive men either; as the saying goes, “ask me how I know”).
Very sadly, high sex drive women are quite rare; they are perhaps the rarest category of all the ones listed here. (As I talked about above, you can find women going through a horny time in their life, but that’s not a high sex drive woman.)
These women are almost always mistaken for high sex drive women, since on the outside they look and act the same. They’re actually quite different; they are essentially high sex drive women’s dysfunctional sisters.
High sex drive women love sex because they love actually having sex. Sex-as-attention women love sex just as much, if not more, but because of the attention they’re getting from men, not the actual sex. Sex-as-attention women are attention whores who figured out that the most intense attention they get from men is the attention they receive during sex. So, in order to get their attention fix, they run around and have tons of sex, often with tons of guys.
They don’t actually need the sex; they just love the attention you’re giving them during the sex. They’re using sex as attention, which is probably not very healthy.
Sex-as-attention women tend to be reckless, highly promiscuous, and extroverted. Some of them actually have dark sexual pasts like repressed women, but instead of turning off sex, they dial the sex way up.
Sex-as-attention women also tend to be very theatrical and dramatic, both during and outside of sex. They’re often very loud during sex and tend to be into things like role play, sex in public places, BDSM, crazy sexual positions, and similar. In other words, they’re great in bed. (They make fantastic FBs!)
Unsurprisingly, most sex-as-attention women tend to be young, as in under age 25, though plenty of older sex-as-attention women exist. Many sex-as-attention women are single mothers, often with babies from multiple men. (Always make sure you’re wearing a good condom with women like this!)
As when I talked about the men, technically, sex addiction isn’t a type of sex drive, but I wanted to include the category here for the sake of completeness. I’ve already covered sex addiction in detail in this article here. The summary is that sexual addiction is not the natural and human desire for sex, but rather a dysfunctional clinical condition. A high sex drive woman craves sex because she loves it and it makes her feel good; it even “feels” good to the sex-as-attention woman. However, sex doesn’t feel good to a sex addict at all; she’s only doing it often to temporarily relieve a pathological, psychological obsession, much like a drug addict. She needs psychotherapy immediately.
Thankfully, true sex addiction is very rare.
That’s it, the eight types of sex drive when it comes to women. Hopefully, this data will help explain problems or experiences you’ve had with women in the past and help prevent some in the future.