Today we’re going to discuss an important aspect of lifestyle design and dating logistics that is almost never talked about. That is, where exactly to live in your city for your absolute best results in terms of both your dating/relationship life and the other areas of your life.
This article is not about what type of city to live in, or the best size of city to live in. However, since I know that question will arise, I will address it briefly before getting to my main point.
I have said before that dating new women and maintaining a decent roster of FB’s and MLTR’s requires a man to live in a city of at least one million people or more, and the larger the city, the better. Below one million, the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle becomes more difficult, but is still doable. Below about 400,000 people, it becomes near impossible unless you get extremely creative, or don’t mind driving several hours on a regular basis to a larger city, or you don’t mind throwing more money around in your dating life. (Perhaps the “rural Alpha 2.0” might be a good topic for a future blog post. Hmmm…)
In terms of what type of city, the lifestyle I teach works in any Western city (US, Europe, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, etc), plus most Asian, Russian, and South American cities (albeit with some modifications for some of the more conservative Asian cities).
I can’t vouch for any cities in regions beyond this, like in Africa, India, or the Middle East. (I would not recommend living in those dangerous or anti-sex regions anyway, unless it’s temporary or you’re doing something unusual-but-necessary for your Mission.)
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the main topic; the best place to live within your city of 1+ million people.
I break down a city into the following zones. Each zone has its own set of pro’s and con’s.
- City core
- Outer core
- Outer Suburbs
- The Boonies
I will describe each, then give you recommendations at the end of the article.
This is literally the downtown area, meaning you live in a high-rise apartment right downtown.
- Extremely easy access to women. Terrific for night game, street daygame, online dating, and just about every other type of game.
- Fun and exciting.
- Don’t need a car; everything is within walking distance, mass transit covers the rest.
- Ridiculously expensive, not just in rent, but in literally everything you spend money on. Living in the city core is going to suck up a massive percentage of your income (unless you live in an unusually inexpensive country). Another component of this is sky high taxes. City dwellers pay the highest taxes of anyone else in the world.
- Very tiny living spaces, unless you are one of the super rich or you live in an unusually cheap city. You’d better be accustomed to living in a very tiny apartment, even if you have roommates.
- High amount of stress. Numerous studies have shown that people who live in downtown areas tend to have more stress, more health problems, and live shorter lives.
- Poor air quality. Say hello to health problems because of this if you live in the city core long-term.
This is when you definitely live “in the city,” but not quite all the way downtown. You’re right outside the core where most of the high rises are. You likely live in an apartment, but it’s possible you live in an old house as well.
- Easy access to women. Not quite as easy as in the city core, but very close.
- Fun and exciting, but not nearly as stressful as living in the core. It’s a slightly quieter lifestyle with a slightly more suburban feel.
- Easy access to everything. However, you might still need a car (depending on the city).
- Very expensive. Not quite as high as the core dwellers, but still very high. Sky high taxes too.
- High crime rates. Of all the zones described here, the outer core has the highest crime rates by far. In most cities, people who live in the outer core become “accustomed” to things like theft, vandalism, and vagrancy on a semi regular basis.
- Poor air quality, pretty much as bad as the core.
This means you live outside of the city, in the ‘burbs. You probably live in a house, though there are many apartment buildings in the suburbs as well.
- Calm, relaxing lifestyle. Good zone to raise kids if that’s something you want.
- Cost of living is still somewhat high, though not nearly as high as in the city. Taxes are usually lower as well.
- Decent, but not great access to women. Not as good as in the city, and transportation is now an issue, but the suburbs are still full of women.
- Reasonably easy access to everything, though you will need to own a car.
- While it’s technically not as expensive to live in the suburbs as in the city, there is a very strong “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect to living in the suburbs that often drives lifestyle costs up for emotional reasons. When your next door neighbor has a perfect yard, or a cool new boat, or a kickass barbeque, or pulls up in a badass new truck, it’s very hard to say no to doing these things yourself even if you never really wanted them in the first place. Women in particular are absolute prisoners of this system, so if you live with a woman and live in the suburbs, you need to be extremely careful about your budget… she’s going to constantly be screaming at you to look like everyone else on the block.
- There are lots of kids and teenagers in the suburbs, far more than in the city, which may irritate some.
- If you need to go into the city, you’re looking at a real drive, with real traffic, that will take some time and gas. It’s not convenient to go to the city very often.
This is the zone between the suburbs and the rural area, perhaps 45+ minutes away from the city core. It’s just like the suburbs except that everything is more spread out. Stores and entertainment are farther away, houses are further apart from each other, and apartment buildings are rare (and if they do exist, are very small).
- Very calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle, more so than the suburbs. Good zone to raise kids if that’s something you want.
- Very low cost of living. You get a LOT for your money. You can live like a little king as compared to your buddies living in or near the city. Very low taxes too.
- You don’t have easy access to women anymore. Dating and relationships are going to require some serious transportation, logistical planning, and budgeting. Driving distance logistics need to be accounted for in ways guys near the city never need to worry about.
- You are really far from the city now; making that trip is a real excursion when you consider traffic, often taking as long as an hour one way, so you’d better have a lifestyle where you don’t need to go into the city very often.
This is the zone well past the suburbs and outer suburbs, way out into the country, easily one hour away from the city core or more. Things like apartment buildings, shopping centers, and restaurants do not exist out here. All you see is land, with the occasional house or farm. Houses out here tend to be huge and expensive, and are usually located acres away from their closest neighbor. Most people who live out here tend to be rich people, retired people, and farmers.
- Ultra calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle.
- Isolated lifestyle, usually with lots of land. Great for introverts or guys who love nature.
- Virtually zero crime. People don’t even lock their doors when they leave their homes because they don’t need to.
- Somewhat expensive. Homes out here tend to be nice, large, and costly. You’ll often have to purchase land as well, even if you don’t want to.
- Everything is far away. Even getting groceries or seeing a movie means you’re in your car for a long time.
- Women are essentially gone. The only women around, what few there are, are older and married.
- People have more of a right-wing or redneck attitude, which may be irritating to some.
People in the boonies live two hours or more away from any large city. They’re literally out in the middle of nowhere. Either they live in large tracts of cheap land, or they cluster in very, very tiny towns.
- Ultra cheap, the cheapest zone by far. You can literally buy a big four bedroom house for as low as $30,000 or less. Even guys with lower incomes can live like an emperor in the boonies as long as they stay out of debt.
- Ultra calm, quiet, relaxing lifestyle.
- Isolated lifestyle, usually with lots of land. Great for introverts or guys who love nature.
- Virtually zero crime (although stupid, bored teenagers can sometimes be a mild problem).
- Everything is not only far away, but hours away. Even getting groceries means you’re in your car for a long time. Going to the city is a big event and only something you do for a “vacation.”
- Women are essentially gone. The only women around, what few there are, are older and married (and probably very ugly). Even if you encounter the rare, hot teenage girl, she’ll move out of the region the instant she turns 18.
- Extreme right-wing / redneck attitudes among what few people live around you, which may be irritating to some.
- Not a good place to raise kids. There’s not enough social interaction and not enough for them to do. Teenage pregnancy and drug use are often pretty high in the boonies.
- Unless you’re a hermit, everyone in your local area is “up in your business.” Literally everyone knows all of your personal details. Local gossip is rampant and an accepted part of life.
The Best Zone to Live In
The “best” zone to live in depends on the type of guy you are and your objectives. If you’re a young, Thrill of the Hunt PUA guy who is into one night stands and notch counts, then without question you need to live in the city core or outer core. The monogamous, beta male family man will want to live in the suburbs (as will his wife, who will probably force him to move there whether he wants to or not).
In terms of the Alpha Male 2.0 lifestyle that I talk about, where you are making as much money as you can on the lowest amount of hours per week, via a small but profitable location independent business or two, where your monthly taxes and expenses are minimized, and where you are dating multiple FB’s and/or MLTR’s (and/or perhaps an OLTR), the best zone to live in is the outer suburbs. The second best option would be the suburbs or rural. The third best, but not great option would be the outer core (too expensive) unless perhaps you’re a younger guy planning on moving out of that area at some point in the future. The worst options are the core (way too expensive) and the boonies (too few women).
Exceptions to this would be if you live in the city core or rural/boonies for just a few months a year, which I’m planning on doing before 2025 when I permanently move out of the USA. Downtown Hong Kong, my favorite city in the world, will likely be a destination where I spend a few months out of the year. Yet, I won’t live there. Too expensive and too stressful (and in Hong Kong’s case, too hot and humid in the summer). I’ll likely spend a few months there, a few months in the USA during the summer to visit my friends and family, and spend the rest of the year in the outer suburbs in a place like New Zealand or Argentina.
Another possible exception would be for older guys who have a live-in OLTR. These men may be able to pull off living in the rural or boonies zones, making occasional trips closer to downtown to visit regular FB’s.
Younger guys focused more on getting laid and less on making money might be okay in the core or outer core temporarily, just as long as you have a specific battle plan and future dates to get the hell out of there so you can maximize your income, minimize your debt, minimize your taxes and living expenses, and maximize your investing and savings.
Today, I live in the outer suburbs. I used to live in the suburbs for many years, and both the higher costs and the “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect drive me crazy, so I moved to the outer suburbs several years ago. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I live very well, spend very little money in terms of living expenses, pay very little taxes, live in a very nice, but very inexpensive house, and live a very happy, low-stress lifestyle.
Granted, seeing women is a challenge, but it’s my only challenge, and it’s not a showstopper at all. In my opinion, the Alpha 2.0 lives as far away from the downtown core as possible, to the point where women complain about how far out you live, but still make the effort to come see you. This means you’re getting laid while still saving a lot of money in lifestyle. If women are happy to meet you where you live because you’re so close to downtown, you’re spending a needless amount of money in lifestyle costs, at least in my opinion.
For many years, since moving out to the outer suburbs, women have regularly complained that “I live too far away,” yet they’ll still drive out to my house to have sex with me. If I lived in a rural or boonies area, this would not happen. They’d GPS my address and immediately say hell no.
Thus, the outer suburbs is the perfect Alpha 2.0 balance between low cost of living and access to women. By living closer to the city, you waste money, and by living further away, you lose access to women. If Alpha 2.0 is something you want, I suggest setting a goal to move to this zone at some point in your future if you don’t already live there.
For more adventurous Alpha 2.0’s, you can combine this with a Five Flags goal or similar or if/when you move out of the Western world. By living in the outer suburbs of an inexpensive, non-Western country, you’ll save massive amounts of cash (which you can put toward your investments) while still living a great lifestyle.