I am notorious in manosphere / PUA circles for saying that, when you’re meeting new women and looking to have sex or build up a roster of nonmonogamous relationships, you shouldn’t “screen” women at all, for any reason. You should simply have sex with every woman you find attractive. I described why in both my book and this older article here. I’ve said many times that I only have two requirements for a woman to be in a relationship with me (FB or MLTR anyway): she has to be hot and low-drama. That’s it! Nothing else matters. There are literally no other requirements. I couldn’t care less about her intelligence, education, personality, age (obviously she has to be legal), race, background, religion, family status, single motherhood status, whether or not her parents are still together, or any of the other crap many right-wing Alpha 1.0’s screen their women on (usually in a vain effort to make long-term monogamy work, which of course it does not).
Nope! If she’s hot and low-drama, she’s in, at least as a FB, possibly as a MLTR as well. (OLTR is a different story, but through most of your dating lifespan you won’t have one of those, at least if you’re doing this correctly.)
This then begs the question of who I think you shouldn’t have sex with, even if she’s hot and low-drama. Despite the fact I have a very low bar to entry in terms of my relationship life, there have indeed been women I’ve said no to in the past, despite the fact they were quite attractive and reasonably chill, nice people (at least to me).
Here’s a list of the types of women I think you should avoid sexually, regardless of how little you screen. They are listed in no particular order.
Women you work with. I’ve discussed this already here. Having ongoing sexual relationships with women you work with is one of the dumbest things men do. Men think that it’s easier to just go after women at work, and often it is, but when you have drama with her (not if, but when) and when the relationship ends (not if, but when), you still have to work with her at the office every day. This is going to be hugely awkward at best, drama in the workplace at worst.
As a business consultant with 25 years of experience, working in literally hundreds of companies, I’ve seen this scenario play out over and over again. During the relationship everything is fine, but when the two idiots break up, it disrupts the entire office and creates a living hell for everyone. Moreover, as a man, you are much more liable for sexual harassment and other HR issues than a woman is. Not smart, dude.
I have always had a policy of never dating women I worked with, even back as a young beta male. I’m proud to say I’ve never broken that policy even when I was very temped (and I have indeed been very tempted on more than one occasion). If you really want to go there, get her personal contact info, keep your distance, and when you or her leave the job, then hit her up. This was the exact method I used to get laid in my pre-Blackdragon days as young guy, and it works just fine.
Russian women, at least those living in the West. I explained why here, so read that article. I don’t care how hot she is, she’s not worth it.
Married women, particularly when you know her husband or could “run into” her husband by accident. I think married women who have normal, traditional, monogamous marriages should be avoided altogether if you value your long-term happiness. Regardless, I have to admit that in my past, I’ve delved into this world a few times, so it would be hypocritical for me to advise always staying away from married women.
However! Even when I was playing around with women like this, my rules were very clear and I stuck with them. Namely, that I could not know the husband in any way whatsoever and there had to be no way that I could ever accidentally “run into” the husband. If a married woman didn’t match both of those criteria, I would say no (and I have).
Every time I’ve ever seen guys get in big trouble for playing around with a married woman, it’s always because the guys knew the husband or were in the same circles. Worst case, they did a “Gavin Newsom” and carried on affairs with the wife of one of their close friends. (STUPID!)
So avoid married women completely if you can (unless she has an open marriage; those women are great!), but if you must go there, make sure you don’t know the husband at all and you know for a fact you’ll never bump into him walking the dog in your neighborhood or meeting him at the office Christmas party.
Physically violent women. You should pass on any woman who clearly demonstrates that she’s had a violent past, particularly if the violence was A) recent and B) instigated by her.
Women in your family (in-laws, step-in-laws, etc) or who are close friends to your family. I’ve seen what happens when older guys have sex with their grown daughter’s friends or classmates, or sister’s best friends, when guys fuck their brother’s wives, or even when guys have sex with their own blood cousins (this happens much more often than you think). This kind of thing has even happened in my own extended family. It never ends well. Never. Don’t do it. It’s the same type of thing as having sex with women you work with, in that there’s literally no happy ending no matter how you play it. There are plenty more attractive women in your city than those already closely related to your family.
Underage women. I’ve talked about this in my younger woman ebook, but it should go without saying that you should clearly know what the age of consent is in your city, and then don’t ever go below that age, regardless of how tempted you are, how mature her body looks, or how much she wants you. That means you need to check ID and avoid her if she “can’t find it.”
This is more important than you think, since as you get good at dating younger women, the odds are near 100% that you’re going to eventually be sexually approached by other younger women in the same social circle, and some of these girls will be underage. In addition, sugar daddy dating sites have been absolutely invaded by underage women looking for cash for sex.
I semi-regularly get email from you guys saying that you’ve got your eye on a woman you know is legally underage, and that you want to “go for it anyway.” If you live in Asia or Suicidal Europe, the culture is such that you’ll probably get away with it, but if you live in Cuckoo Canada or the Collapsing USA, holy shit, don’t do it! These cultures seek the blood of men who sleep with women Societal Programming considers “too young.” Living the rest of your life as a registered sex offender isn’t going to make you very happy.
Baby-making monsters. These women are rare, but I’ve encountered them a few times. These are women who are dying to get pregnant right now, right this minute, with any man who isn’t too creepy, particularly if the guy looks like he has a good income. These are usually women in their late 30’s or early 40’s who’ve never had kids and are scrambling to beat their biological clocks, but I’ve run into women like this as young as 21. Stay far, far away.
Women who live too close to you. This is the same concept as women you work with or women closely associated with your family, though in some ways it’s even worse. Having a one night stand with a woman who lives across the street or in the same apartment complex as you is probably fine (though I don’t do one night stands at all because they’re a poor return on effort), but carrying on an actual FB or MLTR relationship with one is almost guaranteed to blow up in your face. How the hell are you going to enforce the once-a-week rule? What happens when she starts coming over to your place whenever the hell she wants? What happens when she sees you at your home with other women walking in? Or hears about it from the neighbors? I’ve coached with numerous guys who did this and it always ends up being a nightmare.
I realize that women who live really close to you may seem like easy, low-hanging fruit. Instead, they’re poison apples almost guaranteed to give you drama and screw up your nonmonogamous relationship life. The ideal distance for a woman in a FB or MLTR relationship with you is 10 minutes driving distance from your home. That way, she’s close and convenient, but not close enough where she feels the “right” to come over whenever she wants, see you more than once a week, or spy on you.