Here I am, once again telling you things that literally no one else on the entire internet has the balls to disclose to the public: details about my open marriage to my OLTR wife, Pink Firefly. My last update was in March here. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, here are the articles you can read to get up to speed:
It has now been 3.5 years into our relationship and with six months living together. So far, everything is very good. There were a few minor rough patches a few months ago that I mentioned in my last update, all of which were attributed to:
A. Both of us getting accustomed to living full-time with another human, something Pink Firefly hasn’t done in four years and something I haven’t done in 11.
B. Both of us adjusting to our radically different communication styles based on our extreme opposite personalities.
Problem A was completely resolved several months ago, and it was something I expected. You should also expect a brief rocky period if/when you move in with a woman, particularly if you’re an Alpha and/or an anal guy “who likes things the way you like them” (both of which describe me).
(Emphasis on the word brief above. If these problems persist, then you fucked up by moving in with the wrong woman and she needs to move the fuck out.)
Regarding B, both of us have made huge strides this year and I’m super impressed at both PF and myself for the way we’ve been conscious of this and learned to communicate to the other person.
PF has (more or less) trained herself to, when she gets frustrated about things, end the conversation quickly and leave me alone and allow me to re-visit the topic a day or too later when we’re both more rational.
I have trained myself to let her emote and have her say (even when I don’t want to sometimes) without trying to “fix it” like a man would, and I’ve learned to display much more love and affection when she’s not feeling 100%.
It still feels a little weird to do this (and I’m sure PF would say the same about her new behaviors as well), but it’s now something I remember to do (at least most of the time) rather than something I make myself do.
To be clear, moments aren’t drama as I define the term. They are almost always brief moments of frustration due to something that happened that day with a co-worker, family member, or some other person in her life that made her upset. The good news is that when I do something simple for her she gets ecstatic with happiness for hours. The bad news is that one person in her life can send her one negative text and ruin her day.
It’s something we’ve both learned how to manage, and while we aren’t 100% perfect, we’re much better at this than we were before.
I still regularly see my FBs on the side about once a week or so at my separate office, almost always during the daytime when PF is at work. I finally and reluctantly spent a little money and outfitted it with a futon and some other cheap but pleasant furnishings so it doesn’t look so stark.
There is one particular FB who PF and I both get along with very well who comes over to our house on a semi-regular basis for the both of us to play with. I don’t want to give details on this yet but perhaps I will if this FB sticks around going forward.
About two months ago, I gently nexted two of my more problematic FBs. As always, I’m working towards getting my grand total regular FBs down to just one or two girls, just to keep things easier to manage. I’m still not down to that number yet, but I’ll get there. Finding a regular, consistent, reliable FB when you have a live-in OLTR wife is difficult, particularly when almost all of the FBs are VYW. This forces me to play with a portfolio of several FBs instead of having just one or two core ones. Quality problems, I know, but such is the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle.
Not that I’m complaining. 🙂
I mentioned last time that I was going to get a relationships counselor for us to work with, in order to prevent future problems instead of working on current ones (since we really don’t have any right now). I have not done this yet because we’ve both been so busy. I will eventually get around to it later this year.
The next transition coming up for Pink Firefly and me is that she needs to start building some good location independent income like I have. Since we’re moving out of the Collapsing USA under a five flags model in a few years, I need her to have a location independent, Alpha 2.0 income like I have; a wage slave corporate job isn’t going to cut it. As of mid-September she will start working on her new business regularly, either part-time or full-time, with my help.
It’s a win/win, but it also has the strong possibility of putting stress on our relationship because we’ll be working together. I’ve already outlined a plan for both of these things to minimize potential conflict and she’s on board with all of it (so far, at least… sometimes women change… we’ll see). PF is a very hard worker (which is one of the reasons I fell in love with her; I tend to be attracted to extremely feminine women who are also hard workers) with a long corporate track record, so my confidence is high.
That’s it for now. I’m extremely happy, we’re having a great time, and I love being with her. But, as I’ve said before, that’s easy to say when we’ve only been living together for six months. When that six months turns into three years (December of 2020) and everything is still going great with us, that will be an accomplishment and that’s when I’ll brag.
(That’s when I’ll publish the living-together OLTR marriage book too.)
More updates to come.