We’re running our online dating profile contest right now. To help you get that $200 or $400 prize, I’m going to quickly lay out the four online dating profile “templates” that I have seen work. When I say “template” I mean a basic outline or structure of the profile text. Some of these have worked for me, others have worked for other guys.
I have seen, analyzed, and evaluated hundreds of men’s online dating profiles. The ones that work often follow a particular flow, as do the ones that don’t work.
One big disclaimer to all of this. I’m talking about the text in your profile. I have said before, and will say again, that about 80% of your online dating profile success will actually be with your photos, not what you write in your profile. However, 20% is still 20%, and I have indeed worked with very good-looking guys who had crappy results from online dating because their profiles were way off.
That being said, it’s still very true that if you’re gorgeous, what you write in your profile suddenly becomes less important. Since most men reading these words are not gorgeous (I’m certainly not), this is irrelevant. So let’s talk about profile structures.
Powerful Template 1: The Outcome Independent Profile
This is the standard Blackdragon profile, the one I discuss in detail in my primary online dating ebook and one I’ve used many times. It’s a profile that starts out very strong, with a very striking or unusual first sentence or paragraph. From there, it does not follow a specific flow, but rather throws a very strong outcome independent vibe at the reader.
This profile is very confident, smart (but not geeky), funny (but not silly), interesting, and uses a lot of in-your-face language. There are implied DHVs sprinkled throughout, and the tone of the profile is almost “jerk”. Not quite, but almost.
The profile says, “I live a fantastic life. I don’t need you. But if you qualify, maybe you can join me.”
Powerful Template 2: The Sexual Profile
This template is very different from the above. It tends to work best with guys under age 35 who are not ugly (though there are certainly exceptions to both of those generalizations).
This entire profile screams sex, although indirectly so, and is designed to screen for horny, high sex drive women who are down for fast sex and/or one night stands. It is epitomized by a post made at our forum a few years ago by Bukowski Merit.
Because of dating sites’ rules about not getting too sexual, you cant say “let’s fuck” or “you and I are going to have SEX!”, but you can talk about pleasure, passion, bed sheets, and other trigger words/phrases that amp up a woman’s sexual desire. On dating sites where you answer questions, all of the questions are answered strictly to screen for the more freaky girls.
The Sexual Profile is not my style at all, but I have certainly seen it work for many guys. You just need to be careful…many sites are banning guys for getting too sexual in profiles these days.
Powerful Template 3: The Combo Profile
This template is almost a combination of the above two profiles. It starts out very emotional, abstract, and strong on feeling. Then after about one or two paragraphs it gently shifts into subtle DHVs about responsibility and success. There is romantic innuendo rather than sexual innuendo, and the tone is a little more friendly than the Outcome Independent Profile.
These profiles work because they feed into women’s irrational desire for the “perfect man” who is both a passionate and exciting Alpha while being a responsible beta at the same time. (The feminine myth of the “submissive Alpha” I mentioned a few weeks ago). Also for this reason, these profiles are harder to write, and require decent writing ability in order to properly straddle that line.
These profiles are exemplified by some of the winning profiles we had in last year’s contest.
Powerful Template 4: The Fun Profile
In this template, there are no overt DHVs, no sexual innuendo, and no outcome independence. Instead, the entire profile is very funny and unique in a clever way. It makes women laugh and sets you apart from all the other typical, boring profiles she’s read.
Fun Profiles are by far the hardest to write. When most guys try to get funny with their profiles, they either come across as too silly and stupid, or too intellectual and geeky. So I would generally avoid this template unless you really understand comedy well. But if you think you can pull it off, often you can knock it out of the park with profiles like this.
Bad Profile Templates
I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least mention the three most common types of profiles I see that don’t work.
Bad Template 1: The Empty Profile
Way too many guys write profiles that really don’t say anything about them. That might be acceptable if the profile contained strong and well-written sexual or romantic innuendo, but they don’t do that either.
Instead, they have a few funny sentences (or should I say, sentences that try to be funny) and then perhaps something about “let’s meet up for coffee!” and that’s it. They’re incomplete, empty and say nothing. Bad.
Bad Template 2: The Overly Intellectual Geeky Profile
Oh man, I see these ones all the friggin’ time. This is the profile full of interesting and amusing references to Shakespeare, Noam Chomsky, Family Guy, and Battlestar Galactica. If you’re a guy reading this profile, it might be interesting to read. But if you’re a woman, 90% of the humor and references will go right over your head, or worse, you’ll assume the writer is a boring geek who stays home on Saturday nights and reads books.
Bad all over. The smarter and more educated you are, the more careful you need to be about coming across as too intellectual in your profile. Women have their nerd-detectors turned up to full blast when they’re reading dudes’ profiles, and you don’t want to be anywhere near that category.
Bad Template 3: The Whiny Beta Profile
I tend to see more of these profiles on provider-hunting sites like Match.com, but I do see them on the other usual dating sites as well, especially from men over 35. The entire vibe of this profile is, “Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend/wife? I’m a nice guy, and nothing I’ve done has worked. You women can be so cruel sometimes. Anyway, I love you, so please give me a chance. I’ll kiss your ass and do whatever you want. I just need a girlfriend/wife ASAP. Please help.”
Of course I probably don’t need to tell you that everything in the above message is exactly the opposite of what you want to be saying. Just make sure you don’t even hint at any of that kind of negative, outcome dependent, whiny, beta crap when you write your own profile.
So sharpen your keyboards, write a kickass profile, send it in to us right here so our lovely female judges can rate it, and in about a week you may win $50, $200, or even $400! Good luck!