Stimulated by Scarlett Johansson’s recent divorce (her second one, and she’s only 32, Jesus) and her recent statements that she thinks monogamy isn’t natural (it isn’t, but she’s still full of shit; she’ll try it again, just watch), various news outlets are now discussing the “duh obvious” concept that attractive people are far less capable of monogamy or staying married.
Indeed, studies have shown [*][*] that with men and women both, the better-looking you are, the more likely you are to cheat and the more likely you are to get divorced (if you’re dumb enough to get into a traditional monogamous marriage, that is). Several of you recently sent me this article written by a woman who is “too beautiful to be faithful.”
The fact I was attractive meant I was constantly surrounded by men ready and willing to distract me from the path of true love. The more offers I got, the more convinced I became that the grass really was greener on the other side.
When things started to go awry with a boyfriend, I never felt remotely inclined to try to work through any problems. I simply moved on to the next man.
As a beautiful woman, I never had that fear I would be left alone.
There was always another charming, handsome replacement waiting in the wings to offer me the heady excitement of a new relationship.
Yep! Pretty much.
Yet, do you think she ever thought twice about promising monogamy to a man?
Do you think she ever thought twice about marrying a man with the presumption that it would “last forever?”
Do you think all these men she married and dated assumed that they would be dumped or cheated on soon?
This is why people still get married and cheated on / divorced in massive numbers. No one is willing to be honest about this.
We have to be fair though. This is true with good-looking men too. Even the woman in the article complains that the hotter guys would always cheat on her. Well, of course they did.
It’s often been said that “people are as faithful as their options.” This is very true. If you’re better-looking, you have more options, the odds of you cheating and/or dumping/divorcing your lover go way up. This forces monogamy-lovers to do some very weird things, such as Roosh stating that when he gets married he’s going to make sure his future wife is no more than a 7 in attractiveness. (Ugh. A 7 wife? Yeah. Sign me up for that. Sounds great, particularly if you’re monogamous and not allowed to have sex with anyone else. What a great system!)
Here are all the reasons why good-looking people are even less capable of monogamy than normal people (who themselves aren’t capable of it, with rare exception):
1. You have more options. More options mean more opportunity. More opportunity means higher ease of cheating and/or finding a new sucker (uh, I mean partner).
2. You gain more attention from the opposite sex. This means you learn pretty quickly that your options exist. This is a factor a lot of people aren’t aware of.
I’ve talked about how, when I was monogamously married, I “forgot” that I was at least somewhat attractive to women simply because of my monogamous lifestyle. Once I got back out into the dating world, I “realized” that I was attractive, at least to some degree, and this made me more able to find more sexual partners.
I’ve also talked about how attractive women figure out they’re hot very fast, usually by the time they’re about 17 years old or sooner, because of the sheer tsunami of attention they start receiving from men, almost as soon as they hit puberty.
3. You have more propositions for sex and companionship from the opposite sex, particularly if you’re female. I don’t want to overstate this, however. I know that ugly girls and overweight girls still get literally hundreds of openers whenever they sign up to a dating site like OKCupid. Men will excitedly fuck anything. There’s a myth going around the manosphere that “ugly/fat girls can’t get laid,” and that is not accurate at all. Ugly/overweight women get laid quite a bit and with minimal effort. Regardless, it is true that the hotter you are, the more men will be hitting on you, and they won’t care if you’re already married or have a boyfriend.
4. You are more likely to attention whore via social media. Studies show that the more into social media you are, the more likely you’ll cheat. Since the more good-looking you are, the more likely you are to use social media, this creates a feedback loop that constantly raises the odds that you’ll cheat.
As I’ve said many times, the internet in general and social media in particular is one of the many reasons for the dramatic increase in the number of people cheating over the last several years. This started all the way back in the late 1990’s with websites like classmates.com.
5. Your partners/lovers are more likely to put up with your crap, particularly if they’re men. Guys will put up with all kinds of drama, bullshit, and even abuse from their girlfriend/wife if they perceive her to be better-looking than most. That’s why you need to be careful about this, even if you’re nonmonogamous. It’s quite pathetic, but many hot women learn this pretty quickly; they will cheat on these guys (and/or treat them like shit, and/or throw constant drama at them) and these oneitis pussies will put up with it to some degree.
6. Attractiveness combines with youth to make monogamy even more impossible, and the studies reflect this. That hot 20 year-old is far more likely to cheat than that hot 38 year-old. This is why I’ve said many times that hot girls under the age of 23 are effectively incapable of monogamy (beyond very short stretches), and that men who date or marry women this young while expecting any degree of sexual loyalty are either inexperienced, stupid, or delusional.
While you might be thinking “duh” when I say that the hotter someone is, the less likely she or he will be capable of monogamy, you’ve got to remember that most people either don’t know this, or pretend they don’t know this. Hot people get monogamous and/or monogamously married with no prenups all the time. I don’t see hordes of normal people getting into relationships with super hot people with the expectation that they’ll soon be cheated on or dumped/divorced. It’s always a “surprise” when it happens. So most people just proceed as if everything will be fine.
The few people who are aware of this dynamic are either Alpha Male 1.0 monogamists who actively look for uglier mates (Roosh, et. al.) or nonmonogamists who just smile and date all the super-hot people they like because they don’t have to worry about infidelity.
Which category would you like to be in? 🙂